New Music? who dis?
hi guys. spotify so eloquently reminded me that Raury dropped a new album recently. & it’s beautiful. reminds me of Sunday mornings. or Tuesdays with him. the melodies took my ears back to the music we’d listen to in the house. the unrealeased songs. the songs you’d get in a text message. singing a song & playing the guitar with the “i thought of you” text. this album took me back to some of my favorite days, and my heart has been smiling all day because of it.
back to sunday mornings. or tuesdays. where whimsical music greeted my ears before my eyes opened. lavender oil burning. soothing my nerves before I even moved. greetings with good mornings. hot cups of tea. coconut oil with a morning massage. oranges wrapped as flowers. yeah. i was in heaven. heaven on earth. & i deserved it. & he always reminded me of that. especially in the shower where he’d wash me up from head to toe. get on his knees & wash between each toe ever so gently while looking me in the eyes. the care. the pour. reminding me that I deserved all of the love in the world. a goddess. we’d meditate. do yoga. breakfast. & start the day. who couldn’t walk on water after that?
one day, i was told to get in an uber. to where? a surprise. & ended up at John Lennon’s grandson’s house. as they were making music in the studio, he continuously reminded me of his appreciation. for my energy and presence. alone. paused the session and took me to the backyard where we hiked up a mountain (that sh.t was big af). he wanted me to watch the sunset from Hollywood hills. it was beautiful. a painting. i cried. ugly tears. weeped. because i couldn’t believe this was my life. he was always so kind. & loving. & i did nothing. but be myself. & i couldn’t believe it. as we watched the sunset, he reminded to trust my intuition. trust myself. reminded me that i deserved everything just for being who i was.
we went back to the studio. i had a missed call. my mom. she said my brother was killed. i cried for a minute. i wiped my tears. i did not share. because i didn’t want him to be there for me. i already felt so close. & so seen. i didn’t want to be transparent. he kept asking what was wrong. i thought i played it off, but i was silent. when we got back to the house, i broke the silence. while simultaneously stating that i didn’t want to talk about it. he respected it. ordered thai food & we sat on the floor. ate on a vintage suitcase under dim lights with the Sarahtonin playlist keeping us company. s/o to him. & the name of my blog. he gave me more love as i had just lost love. from my brother. just as he did when he resurrected my soul after i lost my mother. grandmother. & from the day i first met him, he always poured an abundance of love, appreciation, and beautiful energy into me. my light always shined even brighter when i was with him & he never tried to dim it. what a rare experience. for a man to see your light, protect your light, and pour into it.
after 5 years of knowing him, i finally told him my story. in a room full of people. no literally, i had a mic & i was telling the room. as i was also telling the room about how we met before i introduced him before his performance. when we got back to the house, he asked me why i never told him about me. my answer was simple. he already loved me so much just for who i was. & if i told him my story, he would love me even more. i didn’t want that. as a watched the twinkle in his eye, i watched the love for me grow too.
anywho, check out this new album. it’s beautiful. it took me back. it wrote this blog in 20 minutes because it easily poured from my heart. bless his beautiful heart.
