Fran Fine Meets Sarah Fine

God’s timing is always better than our timing, but accepting that isn’t always the easiest journey. So this is a story about trusting that & becoming a nanny. One of my most heart warming & soul fulfilling jobs til this day.

Let’s get into it. So I was living in Chicago and flying to Atlanta to watch my kids for weeks at a time. I know you’re thinking … what? But you know when you know someone who doesn’t have a job, so you ask them to do things you can’t ask ppl with a job to do….? Welp. I was that person. Filling in gaps in people’s lives that only the jobless can do. Society’s real silent heroes. Haha.

Anywho, I was offered the opportunity to become a full time nanny time & time again. But I had a whole lotta resistance to the idea. Me? Responsible for 4 kids all week? My inner city girl couldn’t get with the program.

But as much as I resisted & even chose a different path… an adventure to Texas to be specific. Life & God had other plans in mind, because I ended up in South Carolina as the nanny…watching children as a full time lifestyle. Not 9-5. I’m talking Monday- Friday 24/5. live-in style & wow! we had a big a.s. house. mom worked out of town during the week. So yes, I was cooking. Taking kids to school. prepping for Valentine’s Day parties & birthday parties too.

homework. Waiting in looooooong pick up lines, going to basketball practice. Games. Goodnight kisses. & even met with the superintendent when one of my babies almost got kicked out of school for having that 🌳

The whole 9 yards. It was giving house wife. A prelude to my future? Let’s call it a premonition. Because I was a stay- at-home girlfriend shortly afterwards. Hey Fred cause I know you’re reading this 💋

But one thing specifically stands out the most when I reflect on my time with these wonderful little people. random swipes on my credit card… from a video game. Red flag right? But I be in denial.

So I just ordered a new card & thought nothing of it. But it happened again a few weeks later. Weird. Luckily, all things come to light and his mom actually found my credit card in his pants pocket. I was like omg I was getting random charges from a video game.

😭😭😭 & she gave me full reign to punish him anyway I saw fit. big dawg in charge naw? So me + my ex sat on the phone for days coming up with the perfect punishment for my 10 year old boy. The best one… I’m not even about to give y’all some ideas. Because it was perfecto. Actually, why was I doing parenting tings with my ex who’s bby I got rid of? are we Trauma bonded or what?

after all options were carefully considered & thought out, a decision was made. but should I take the phone away? No WiFi? Treat him like a criminal? Spank him like it’s the one he’ll never forget? The options were endless. sadly, I couldn’t even go through with it. I cried like a baby.

I asked bby boy if we could a conversation one afternoon in the kitchen & he was open to it. & the words poured out of my mouth a little something like this:

“I’m really disappointed in you because you stole from me. Why would you do that? I love you. I take you to school everyday. I make you tea. I help you with your homework. We go to basketball practice. Having a healthy relationship with you is important to me, we can’t have a healthy relationship if you’re lying or stealing from me. I don’t want to hide my purse from you or be scared that you may do this again. I want to to know that my things are safe…just like you’re safe when you’re with me. What if I have to hide my purse when you come around? That won’t make you feel good. & I don’t want to make you feel like that. I’m just so hurt. I try to show you how much I love you, but you lied & you stole from me. I don’t want our relationship dynamics to change. I know you may need money, but if you steal or lie instead of asking…. You’re taking my choice away to support you or not. I’m really hurt, sweetie.”

I started off with a straight face, but clearly I ended up in tears.

Y’all I never seen such heartfelt tears in a 10 year old boys face in my life. He felt how much he hurt me with every tear, and he looked like his puppy died. He apologized & asked me what his punishment was… I gave him a lil punishment & he lived life with no electronics or outside time with grace. True horror for these modern kids. Haha Kevin Samuels reference. Modern kids. Modern women? Lmao corny. & It was my first time seeing him play with toys. Haha

To my surprise, our relationship grew even closer after this. I never had a problem out of him ever again. Like at all. Not with chores. Not with talking back. Nada. He became even sweeter actually. did anything I asked him to do. He even started to look forward to his goodnight kisses & asked me to meditate before bed!

Now I know you’re probably reading this & thinking that’s so sweet or nice, but maybe you’re even thinking… what does this have to do with God’s timing? Okay… you’re probably not & im putting words in your mouth.. but hear me out.

That moment in time did so much for my heart. I had full control & dominance in this situation & I could have handled myself anyway I wanted, but I chose to show up with love, patience, vulnerability, and humility. In this moment alone, I knew that I wasn’t projecting the pain that was given to me unto someone else. It’s giving healed childhood trauma, but we all know there’s layer to this ish…. but with a dominating role in a child’s life, I chose to act out of love instead of anger in a disturbing time. & I’m proud of me for that. that type of rage doesn’t even exist in my heart especially for a child learning about life.

Also, my babies were recently adopted by their aunt ( who I’m referring to as their mom) from foster care. So I understood that they probably needed more teaching lessons with love than hard core punishments, ya know? & seeing that I also had an unavailable mom & spent some time in foster care myself, I knew what they needed without them ever having to say it. God has a funny way of putting people togther. I may have been their nanny who took care of them but they gave me a family to love after my family passed away. thanks for being sunshines in my life & letting me love you ❤️

So God’s plan is always greater than our plan! If life is pushing you in a certain direction, let it be… you’ll never know what God has in store for you if you don’t have enough faith to follow his lead. Trust life!

any who, thanks for reading & check out the Nanny on HBO Max! Here’s a giphy of me & favorite little one. my God Son ♥️