Inspiration for SarahtoninHigh Retreat
It all began with an Instagram post.
The caption read:
“A few months ago, my mother committed suicide. She lived a v hard life. & I could never truly save her from herself. always trapped in her mind living w/ a severe mental illness. A secret I was always taught to keep in the dark. I’ve spent most of my life running away from my mother always in fear of becoming her, but the morning she died...i scrolled thru my phone looking for pictures of her and i could only find her in my own face. I realized how 1 we truly are. When my mother moved to Chicago in 2017, I was forced to face my worse nightmares, HER. But I’m here and she’s not. I remember sharing w/ u all abt how she taught me how to hate myself. Interestingly enough, i fell in love over the summer and my mom experienced it w me.& for the 1st time, i heard my mom say that she loved herself. She would look at my photos i share w u all & say, “wow, you’re so beautiful. omg i look like you. that means i’m beautiful.”How beautiful and transformative self love is. she taught me how to hate myself and i taught her how to love.Th greatest thing my mother ever did for me was to leave me.sacrifice her only daughter. Sh knew she couldn’t protect my light, and bc of that i get 2 b here.today. this moment. the past few weeks, I’ve been watching my grandmother deteriorate from losing her bby. she passed 2 days ago. I can’t believe I lost my entire immediate family these past few years. Everyone has been asking me how they can support me. I quit my full time job so that i can make my mental/ spiritual health a priority. i know the trauma that runs thru my blood. Feel free to cash app me $sarahfreckles. I don’t want my mom’s death to go in vain or my gma’s so i would love if you all could share something tht you love about yrself w/ me & maybe tag a friend if u want - tell them something u love about them. This will feed my soul. It’s when we cultivate the love that we have with ourselves intimately- we are able to share that w others FREELY! PLEASE LOVE YOURSELF! It is the greatest protection. I love you guys! I beat my worst nightmares & I’m becoming the woman of my dreams.The end of a matriarch but the beginning of anew. Rest in Wellness Grandma & My Mother Theresa 🕊”
Some of the responses read:
Read More Responses HERE
The amount of support I received was astonishing, and I was simply overwhelmed by the amount of love pouring into my empty cup. With all of the love and support I was given, I was awarded the opportunity to sit at home and finally get some much needed rest. Ya girl’s spirit was tired. As I grieved, I wondered about getting out of the bed. How I could I get out of the bed? I realized that I had to continue to live a life of passion and purpose. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to continue. Thus, I came up the idea to have the SarahtoninHigh Self-Love & Healing Retreat: Suicide Prevention and Mental Health Awareness. A preventative retreat to combat issues surrounding suicide and mental health problems holistically by providing safe spaces for people to feel and heal their pain. The best way I can not only honor my mother’s life but her hardships is to help others.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the United States. It is the second cause of death for people between the ages of 24-35 and the fourth leading cause of death for people between the ages of 35-54. Taking a deeper look into minority-based disparities, according to the US HHS Office of Minority Health:
• Adult African Americans are 20% more likely to report serious psychological distress than adult whites
• Adult African Americans living below poverty are three times more likely to report serious psychological distress than those living above poverty
• Adult African Americans are more likely to have feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and worthlessness than are adult whites • Hispanics living below the poverty level are over twice as likely to report psychological distress
• The death rate from suicide for Hispanic men was four times the rate for Hispanic women in 2014
A major problem for my mother was not that she committed suicide or even that she was afflicted with a severe mental illness. As a low-income African American woman, she faced a never ending number of hardships with limited resources and a lack of education and to now fault of her own. To keep it plain and simple, she went through a lot of sh.t and didn’t know how heal from it. She would often self-medicate to calm her nervous system with cigarettes, pain pills, and alcohol in attempts to numb her pain. Thus, the SarahtoninHigh Self- Love and Healing Retreat will creatively combat this issue.
In low-income communities and many communities of color, the subject of mental health is taboo which comes with stigmas in regards to seeking therapy and counseling services. We understand. It makes sense due to a lack of resources and education. In our communities, wellness is not promoted. Instead, we respond to sickness. Often times when trauma is afflicted daily in communities, survival is the number one goal. With that being said, we don’t often times have space to feel our emotions and honor our personal tragedies.
Any who, unlike my mother and grandmother I was awarded the opportunity to attend college. Graduating with a bachelors degree in social work, I committed my life to being of service to disadvantaged and marginalized communities. This event is a special cumulation of things and services that have helped me keep my spirit full with life’s tragedies. If you are unable to come to the event and would like to support, you can purchase a ticket to sponsor a low-income or homeless woman. I don’t want both of my mothers’ lives to go in vain, so please help and support this event by connecting with your own serotonin.
Purchase Tickets Here.